Making a Connection

Well, after last nights introspective musings/moanings, me and my wife actually did it. Neither the children were around and it wasn't in bed; both meaningful factors. I may not have been as good as Chelsea strip wearing David Mellor in his prime (one for my older readers there) but it... was... OK.

Thanks God. Life has some sort of meaning again other than trying to download obscure 60's garage tracks. There's also that optimistic buzz were you tell yourself that next time you'll fiddle about a bit more there, jiggle around more here and work on that Brazilian samba movement and it will all be fantastic in the Lovearium. Of course the reality will be demanding kids, work, creditors and the wiggling will have to wait till another snatched random moment. If death doesn't come first.

Talking of which, there's my new Father-in-Law. He is 86 years old and has been bedridden for maybe 2 years, sick and knackered for another 4 years before that.

My old Father in Law died at 77 and was active and lively up to the moment the final big heart attack got him. A bad reaction to bee sting a few weeks earlier was the catalyst. If not for that he might be around now.

Anyway, Bruce the new guy, the Stepfather-in-Law, is held in stasis by about half a dozen contrasting medical conditions. There's the strokes, the diabetes, the Bakers Cysts, the Alzheimers, the dodgy ticker... I could go on. All these things seem to react against each other in such a way that no one thing can kill him. Meanwhile, my Mother-in-Law, the carer, will almost certainly die before Bruce. Worn out by looking after him. We help, rarely and it will be on our conscience if this happens. Bruce takes over 50 separate medicines every single day, has various nurses, therapists and so on visiting (Try getting someone to come and visit if you have a sick child). He is supposed to do various light exercises to keep himself alive even longer.

Now, monged out though Bruce might be he is not falling for this. His quality of life is shit and while he is prepared to swallow dozens of meds he is not going to do various weedy little stretches to elongate the suffering.


God's plan here:

LIFE AS AN ENDURANCE TEST. POINTS LOST FOR COPPING OUT WITH AN O/D - OR NOT DOING PRESCRIBED EXERCISES?

SOMEONE ELSES LIFE AS A TEST IN COMPASSION FOR THOSE NEARBY.

OR A REALLY LONG DRAWN OUT BORING DEATH AS PUNISHMENT FOR SINS IN THIS LIFE OR EARLIER.

AND THEN AGAIN, MAYBE BRUCE IS ALIVE TO HELP FIND A CURE FOR x,y,z. THE LAST PILLS HE TAKES BEFORE HE DIES WILL HAVE A MIRACULOUS EFFECT ON SOMETHING OR ANOTHER AND THIS WILL BE THE POINT OF HIS WHOLE LIFE. OR MAYBE HE'LL ACCIDENTLY START A FIRE AND IN TRYING TO PUT THE BLAZE OUT AN EVIL PAEDOPHILE FIREMAN WILL LOSE HIS LIFE AND CHILDREN IN THIS TOWN WILL BE FREED FROM HIS REIGN OF TERROR.


Or then again, maybe nothing, just nothingness. A long pointless death to bookend a life which made little difference to anyone. I don't think that myself. And the thing with those scientist types who don't believe in mystery, God, life after death, weird stuff, none of them can explain what a conscience is very well. 'Culturally learned behaviour' or similar bollocks. And all of them are shit scared of dying; the ultimate contradiction to a scientific philosophy.