Sex after marriage

Is it a bad sign for a marriage when you get on better when you aren't having sex? Has to be doesn't it. It's sort of like: Now that you are considerate enough not to make me do that crap, I can actually like you for the person you are. There's quite a dance before you get there, however. In my limited experience no woman will actually say to a man (OK, well only rarely in the under 45s) that they don't like sex, never did, only ever pretended because it was expected, part of the contract. So you have to go through this rigmarole of how it is not the right time, the emotional stuff wasn't right, the souffle didn't rise on time (not a metaphor!), tiredness, kids in the wrong place, weren't feeling good about themselves, the relationship, whatever... Then on the few occasions it happens you discover that the problem is that you, the man, are crap at sex. In vain you point out that it has been over a week (in a year will I be writing, 'Over a Month'?) and that any friction down below is going to make it hard for you to hang onto your tonsils never mind anything else for a significant amount of time. Certainly not enough to stoke the boilers of that mutual pleasure machine... The resentment kicks in along with maybe some fear, your wife may well ask herself, Am I menopausal? Is this stuff all John's fault? I used to get off pretty easy 10 years ago. Is he totally useless or have I lost something?

This is hopeful speculation on my part. I'm pretty sure my wife does believe that I'm crap in bed. And if I don't make some reparation afterwards in the way of white goods, a damn good listening ear and general household chores then the shit will hit the fan and it will be even longer before I can have another (no doubt quicker) try out.

The good thing today was that this pick up from a church which was supposed to be only rubbishy panels included a marvellous BELL. See picture!