MARRIED ANGST

Why is it so hard for intelligent women to be happy when they're married?

Children: Sap energy. Provide a focus/audience for disagreements. Are always there. Are more important than your wife's needs. Stop women from having interesting careers - unless they are selfish of course.

Husbands: Are selfish. Stupid. Useless in bed; either wanting too much sex or too little. They can generally come easily which is normally wrong, unless they are supposed to get things over quickly, which is usually the time when they are trying drag things out like some long distance Barry White. A gentleman should not have an orgasm unless his wife does, even if it means a torsion, road rage or prostate cancer. If a wife cannot have an orgasm because of issues of trust started over 10 years ago then emotional closeness should be developed through acts of romantic kindness. I know, it is fucking impossible. Unless you are gay and then you wouldn't want to sleep with a woman anyway. And besides do gay men do that "I feel your hurt and I want to wallow in it also" stuff with each other? I always thought they just had sex like one has food in Yo Sushi. Probably lesbians are very considerate with their partners and what do they actually accomplish in the little time that is left? - Crap poetry and subsidised jobs in the social work sphere.

Friends: Never good enough. Either too boring or too unreliable.

Elderly relatives: Parents start to get sick and become a major hassle and time burner.

Young relatives: Older children have children of their own and lo and behold you have to start looking after them. Inez my youngest was an aunt at the age of 9. I'm a grandfather but I'd rather be an international hedonist without ties.

Health: Women in their 40's are a non-stop round of minor complaints. All of which are demoralising, expensive, non-NHS treatable, non-fatal and an excuse for not having fun/sex/quality alcohol.

Time: Never enough of it. Especially with an average phone call having to last 90 minutes.

Talking of which, it's time for me to go to bed: Alone!